[Prompt: We all experience “defining moments, ” significant events that can have a major impact on our lives. Briefly describe such an event and how it affected you.]

Failed Internet startup

The president of our company announced the final vote: “five to three in favor of ending the business.” Instantly, the tumultuous adventure of Versaworks abruptly ended. This web-based company we had founded aimed to promote an online reservation system for restaurants. Planning to run the company part-time while we sought initial business contracts to generate some base revenue, we had hoped to attract enough investors to provide funding for the team to work full-time. In the end, however, our inability to solidify relationships with restaurants led to the vote on closing the business, and the vote’s outcome was what everyone had expected.

However, closing this chapter in my life allowed me to open a new one, as it caused me to re-evaluate my career goals. I asked myself, why was I so motivated to start a business in the first place? Why did I find its possibilities more rewarding than my successful engineering career? I came to realize that while engineering allowed me to apply my technical skills to developing advanced technology, I believed I had the opportunity and privilege to enhance people’s lives more effectively by guiding a collaborative effort, a whole company directed towards providing for the needs of its customers.

In a word, today I understand that my long-term career goal is to maximize my contribution to society. Through my Versaworks experience, I gained a new perspective on what it takes to start a business. The closing of that project compelled me to refocus on my goals and evaluate what I need in order to achieve them. Today, I know that the pursuit of an MBA education is the next step I must take.

點評：

這篇文章的特別之處在于用反面的例子來論證自己攻讀MBA的目的。文章要求是寫一個可以改變?nèi)艘簧摹匾詴r刻’，作者采用了一個發(fā)生在自己身上的創(chuàng)業(yè)失敗的例子。

很多的時候，當我們寫這類的文章時，都會盡量的采用一些積極的，或者能正面反映出自己優(yōu)勢的素材。但是在這篇文章里，作者選用了一個失敗的例子，突出了自己的不足，無論是在思想上，還是計劃上。在文章的字里行間，可以看出作者是一個極有社會責任感的人，希望通過充分利用自己的技術(shù)，盡可能的提高人類的生活水準。 

盡管作者創(chuàng)業(yè)的出發(fā)點是好的，但是畢竟缺乏市場調(diào)查，市場知識，和市場實際操作經(jīng)驗。 導致創(chuàng)業(yè)最終失敗，然而作者并沒有因此一蹶不振。作者認為這次的失敗只會讓他更清楚地意識到自己真正的創(chuàng)業(yè)目的。通過深刻的自我反省和重新評估創(chuàng)業(yè)真正需要的的東西，作者發(fā)現(xiàn)，自己需要做的下一步，也是最重要的一步就是攻讀MBA學位。通過MBA的學習，能使作者彌補自己對市場知識不足的缺陷。

這篇文章的篇幅盡管不算長，但是段落分明，也能夠清晰的表達出促使作者萌發(fā)攻讀MBA需求的真實動機。總體來說，還是蠻有說服力的。

譯文：

失敗的IT創(chuàng)業(yè)

[命題要求：我們都經(jīng)歷過‘決定性的時刻’- 能夠?qū)ξ覀兊纳町a(chǎn)生重大的影響重大新聞事件，簡單描述這類的事件及它是如何影響你。]

當我們公司的總裁宣布最終投票結(jié)果時：“五比三贊成結(jié)束公司?！彼查g，Versaworks的轟轟烈烈的冒險突然就結(jié)束了。這是一個我們當初為了促進網(wǎng)上訂餐系統(tǒng)而成立的網(wǎng)絡(luò)公司。起初只是計劃以兼職的形式來運行這間公司，等初步開發(fā)了一些客源及積累了部分資金，我們期望去吸引足夠的投資者來提供資金供這個團隊全職工作。然而最終，我們無法維持和鞏固與餐館之間的關(guān)系導致投票結(jié)束營業(yè)，而投票的結(jié)果正如大家所預期的。

但是，這一章的結(jié)束允許我在我的人生中打開另一個新章，因為它使我重新評價我的職業(yè)目標。 我問自己，為什么我熱衷于把創(chuàng)業(yè)放在首位？為什么我會覺得它會比我成功的工程事業(yè)有更高的回報率？我后來意識到，工程學讓我可以運用我的技術(shù)技能去開發(fā)先進技術(shù)，我曾相信我有機會和優(yōu)勢去通過組織一個共同的努力從而更有效的提高人民的生活水平，而整個公司也都是朝著為提供客戶的需要的方向前進的。

總而言之，現(xiàn)在我知道了我的長期職業(yè)目標是使我對社會的貢獻達到最大限度的。通過我在Versaworks的經(jīng)驗，我對如何創(chuàng)業(yè)有了新的認識。這個項目的結(jié)束迫使我把注意力重新集中在我的目標和評估為實現(xiàn)這些目標的需求。今天，我知道攻讀MBA學位是我必須走下一步。