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美國(guó)留學(xué):ps被秒拒的6種開頭盤點(diǎn)

2013年02月21日來(lái)源:美國(guó)留學(xué)網(wǎng)作者: 萬(wàn)佳留學(xué)
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    美國(guó)留學(xué)個(gè)人陳述寫作非常重要,個(gè)人陳述能彌補(bǔ)你的硬件傷,為自己的申請(qǐng)加分,因此常常能決定申請(qǐng)的成敗。尤其是在美國(guó)留學(xué)申請(qǐng)競(jìng)爭(zhēng)日趨激烈的今天,個(gè)人陳述的寫作更顯的重要。小編為大家總結(jié)了在寫個(gè)人陳述的開頭段時(shí)要注意的問(wèn)題,避免被一眼秒拒掉。

  一、重復(fù)簡(jiǎn)歷型

  I earned my Bachelor of Science degree in … Sciences with a specialization in … in 2002 at … university

  點(diǎn)評(píng):美國(guó)留學(xué)個(gè)人陳述不要去重復(fù)簡(jiǎn)歷中的東西,這在很多學(xué)校的PS要求中明確提到,個(gè)人陳述的寫作要具體到事件上,事件解決上,而不要單純重復(fù)已有的內(nèi)容。

  二、學(xué)校介紹型

  I am an undergraduate in…University , the largest university anda cradle of scientific and technological talents in China.

  點(diǎn)評(píng):該同學(xué)的個(gè)人陳述開頭等于是一個(gè)申請(qǐng)學(xué)校的簡(jiǎn)介,這好像是在幫助學(xué)校做宣傳,或表達(dá)你有多了解該學(xué)校,而不是寫個(gè)人陳述了。這是沒(méi)有意義的開頭,白白浪費(fèi)了字?jǐn)?shù),最容易被秒據(jù)掉。

  三、抄襲句式型

  As a student majoring in Computer Science, I began my odyssey since I entered undergraduate program. Indeed, having entered this splendid computer world, I am more than greedy for something new.

  點(diǎn)評(píng):Odyssey 和more than greedy for something new 這種句式不知道是從哪里學(xué)到的,很多同學(xué)在用。但你要知道,老外最恨抄襲,最喜原創(chuàng),所以利害關(guān)系大家想想吧。

  四、救世主型

  I am a problem solver. I have an impulse as a kind of instincts to solvevarious problems before me and enjoy doing that. Since I was a little boy, a voice from President Franklin Roosevelt has constantly hovered around my mind, "The world can be changed by man's endeavor, …

  點(diǎn)評(píng):一副救世主的形象,小時(shí)候就受富蘭克林的影響,立志改變世界。個(gè)人陳述的寫作一定要個(gè)人化具體化,別吹大牛,甚至帶著一種霸權(quán)主義思維。

  五、猶抱琵琶型

  Making a right decision at the right time is very important for a young people .At present, I have come to a critical point in my life when I have to make a decision concerning my future course of action. Only a perceptive understanding of oneself will enable one to chart his proper action. Aftercarefully thinking, reviewing my life and analyzing my personality, I make the determination and choose to apply for graduate study in XXX. And I choose to specialize in communications which I will pursue a lifelong career.

  點(diǎn)評(píng):重點(diǎn)放在自己要做重大決定上了,人生的轉(zhuǎn)折點(diǎn),然后來(lái)上句所謂名言警句。浪費(fèi)字?jǐn)?shù),有限的字?jǐn)?shù)里,同學(xué)們應(yīng)該學(xué)會(huì)直接,并且抓住重點(diǎn),突出自己最有優(yōu)勢(shì)的方面,最有特色的方面。

  六、言幼稚型

  'Why the gecko can climb on the wall while we can't-' 'Why the leaves turn red in autumn' 'How many stars are there in the sky-' When I was in childhood, I always kept asking my mom all kinds of questions。I am especially interested in how things work, I can even take apart things for several hours in order to find out its principle.

  點(diǎn)評(píng):上來(lái)就回憶童年少年自己如何有著遠(yuǎn)大抱負(fù),who cares。個(gè)人陳述字?jǐn)?shù)有限,卻用這么多話描述童年,沒(méi)有任何意義。學(xué)校想知道你如何看待未來(lái),而不是如何度過(guò)過(guò)去。

  小編提醒大家,以上六種美國(guó)留學(xué)個(gè)人陳述的開頭方式一定要盡力避免,申請(qǐng)美國(guó)大學(xué)的申請(qǐng)人越來(lái)越多,申請(qǐng)競(jìng)爭(zhēng)越來(lái)越激烈,大家精心準(zhǔn)備的個(gè)人陳述希望成為大家被錄取的亮點(diǎn),而不是成為大家申請(qǐng)成功的絆腳石。

 

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